Bye, twenty eighteen

2018 had been a year of speaking up. If I have to describe most of the thoughts I expressed, I would have a hard time picking between honest and callous. It was as if my mind had a mouth in itself that would speak with disregard on how it can wound or get misconstrued.

I said only a little about the previous year in this blog and now I’m writing this post to conclude it. 2018 had been happy but it ended with ugly disclosures that weren’t healthy to get consumed with. I tell myself that what’s important is a new door opened as the year closed.

2019 is what happens after you turn off the car alarm and the fireworks cease to glimmer. The merriment of the welcome is but a speck because it would be more defined by the habits & perspective in your normalcy, when it’s back to business as usual. I wish to be a better human along the way but through a different method this time – to expend more energy (and money) nurturing myself more. Maybe it’s time to feel less guilty about things because maybe I can die any day. I want to live each year satisfied enough that it would always be better than the previous one – so that in the face of the end, life can never be gotten over.

I’ll stop with the mortality talk because it is kind of creeping me out. Here’s to self-care, conscientious words, carrying less mental baggage, and eluding people who make me feel that I am a difficult person to like. P.S. My feelings are not an afterthought.

I do not have a cohesive story to glue up my 2018 but please make do with these 30 picks from 2018 by yours truly.

Skincare tool: Amethyst roller

Work desk staple: Hand cream

What I won’t ever repurchase: Human Nature shampoos

Holy Grail: Gatsby oil blotting film

Mantra: A poem called Transmutation by Lalah Delia

• Grapes must be crushed to make wine
• Diamonds form under pressure
• Olives are pressed to release oil
• Seeds grow in darkness

Whenever you feel crushed, under pressure, pressed, or in darkness, you’re in a powerful place of transformation/transmutation.

Coffee: Americano or flat white

Alcohol: Rosé

What I first look for in a menu: Salad [I am at this age]

Lifestyle change: I try to stretch more often

Favorite yoga pose: Lizard

Despised yoga pose: Warrior 2, Goddess

Can’t-breathe film: A Quiet Place

Sad movie: Mood Indigo

Hilarious watch: What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim

Best series: Stranger Things

Make out song: Teenage Blue

Happy song: Celeste

Dance-with-me song: Pumped up Kicks

Who to subscribe to on Youtube: i’m cyborg but that’s ok

Favorite game: Suikoden 2 [still]

Best purchase of the year: A 10kg capacity automatic washing machine. We do not need to wring wet clothes anymore that will make you feel that life is “very sad & poor.”

Unforgettable book: Kafka on the Shore

Favorite Marvel heroine: Wasp

Favorite Disney movie: Ralph Wrecks the Internet! Or Coco huhuhu

Favorite social media: IG

Favorite shopping site: Beautymnl

Accessory: Specs, which is a need

Favorite cam app: Huji

Lola peg: @jennykeeoz

DILF: Eddie Redmayne!

*Photogenic memories from the craziest baklang party of last year. I was jumping hardcore that my favorite party earring snapped itself. I do not know what to expect of 2019 anymore. Thank you God for letting me stand where I am right now. There’s no word better than “love” to describe how I feel about it because I’m with a generous company whose values I align with and I get to work with people who are all family. ❤

~ Chime in! ♫

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